Sunday, December 11, 2005

"You Got To Know When To Hold ’Em, Know When To Fold ’Em."

After waiting and waiting, I finally got to play some poker this week. I got the call last Wednesday night for a Texas Hold 'Em session. This was my first real opportunity to sit down with some people and play poker in more than a year. Lately, in an attempt to quench my thirst for poker, I tried playing online. But, it doesn't quite do it for me playing the game that way. It's just better when you're face to face with your fellow players. There's something about the ability to feel the chips in your hand and to sing "The Gambler" to a player who absent-mindedly counts their chips in the middle of the game.

Back when I was living in Fredericton, I would refer to playing poker as "Operation: Take Steve's Money." This referred to Steve, one of our usuals around the poker table. Steve and I got along alright, but we weren't exactly friends. He had a habit of telling stories about himself, how much money he had, the great places he had been, etc. But the one thing I liked about Steve was taking his money. To me there was no sweeter sound than sweeping up Steve's chips after he blabbed on and on about his backpacking trip through Europe.

So, I was pretty stoked to play when the call came through. But since I had never played with this group of guys before, I was playing on the defensive. I didn't want to give away any "tells" and I was also trying to make up for being anything but a pro at Texas Hold 'Em. I figured I'd keep them guessing and that way I'd probably get invited back for another game. While I was a little disappointed with my performance, the game lasted around five hours and everyone involved had a good time. In the end I only lost seven dollars, so I felt pretty good about the whole thing.


The first two links are to some funny phone calls. Having worked previously at a call centre, I'm quite familiar with the types of people making these calls.

Call One is from an older woman trying to buy a computer. This would normally be a difficult enough process for the uninitiated, but it also seems she had been getting the run around from an automated phone system for awhile before leaving this voicemail. My favorite part is when she starts bitching about the "younger generation."

Call Two is from some woman who thinks 911 can help her with her taco situation. She keeps calling the male operator "bitch" and screaming for assistance with her taco. One of the operator's first questions to her is "are you drunk?" I can't decide which is funnier/scarier though, the woman on the line or the tone of the 911 operator. Either way, this call must be heard to be believed.

And now for the piece de resistance, a clip from the 1972 Bruce Lee classic Return of the Dragon. This clip contains the epic battle between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, that's right Chuck freakin' Norris. In this clip, our two heros throw down in the ruins of the Roman Colosseum. Now, I will warn you that the video contained in this link is pretty choppy, but you'll at least get a glimpse of the greatness that is Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Chuck totally throws down some amazing roundhouse kicks.


Anonymous said...


Poker On-Line 101:

The best site, in my extensive experience, in They allow continous tourneys involving 10 (no problem), 30 (a rather impressive victory) and 100 player tournaments ( win and you are a demi-god). I am addicted. My brother has won and lost thousands of dollars (literally), but I only play for fun. My tournament name is the same as my e-mail address name, hope to see you in a game sometime. Go to ¨Sit and Go¨...

Feliz Navidad,


Shauna said...

oh, Quammy, I don't know how you ever withstood working at a call center. dear lord, what state is the world in??? when i hear the people on those calls going on the way they do, i just want to crawl under my covers and never get out of bed. and i'm tempted to say, you know what's wrong with the world... it's those americans. but how is that any better than talking about the "younger generation". so i guess the only solution is to call Chuck Norris. he'll know what to do. motherfuckin roundhouse to the head!

Janarama said...

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits.